Whoops

This went stale, huh? We'll try again during the NFL season.

Peyton Greater Than Tiger

Peyton played with Tiger at the Quail Hollow Pro-am. I would have bet good money on a Peyton-Tiger victory. But, somehow, they lost.

Here's the best account of the event, which included this wonderful prose:

"On his way to the par-3 No. 17, Manning stopped to sign a pin flag for a man in a wheelchair and to give him an unhurried hug. When Manning let go, the man had the beatific smile of someone who had been touched by a god."

Manning Day

Archie and Eli were at the Mississippi State Senate on Tuesday in honor of the state's first Manning Day.

Peyton didn't show up. I think he was down in Florida challenging Tiger Woods to an Oreo eating contest.

Peyton's top ten favorite famous Mississippians who are not Eli or his Dad: Jimmy Buffet, Elvis, Walter Payton, Jim Henson and William Faulkner.

And Eli's: LeAnn Rimes, Oprah, Lance Bass, Brett Favre, and John Grisham.

AFC South Loses Some Spice

Houston backup QB Sage Rosenfels was traded to the Vikings the other week, effectively ending a free gift era for Peyton Manning and the Colts. See: This fumble.

The amazing this about Sage, though is his affinity for a certain Colts starting QB. He wears the same number, and also named his son Peyton. Sounds like a Manning fan to me.

So, Sage the AFC South will mis you, and let's hope you can beat Tavaris and Gus for that starting job in Minnesota.

We Look Nothing Like Todd and Seth

So, I found this article about Todd Helton and Seth Smith, who were the backups for Peyton and Eli at their respective colleges. They both play baseball for the Rockies, and were forced into that profession after never really getting to play much football in college. Undoubtedly, Peyton and Eli would have kept them off the diamond, too. Because, let's face it, Todd and Seth are no Peyton and Eli.

Poetry Slam with Eli

I wrote this in the beginning of the 07-08 season when I was losing all those games. I am a tortured soul man…

New York

Horrible,
Awful,
Failure.
I lose games
My passes
Are off.
Booing
From every
Direction.
Hate fills
My stadium.
Jersey Sucks.

Some Advice

It was a weird couple of weeks in the world of sports. Michael Phelps got caught with that bong. Former Atlanta running back Jamal Anderson got caught with Cocaine and Pot. It was confirmed A-Rod had been juicing. Big Ben told everyone he played in the Super Bowl with cracked ribs. Here's some advice I think Peyton would give to these prominent figures:

To MICHAEL:
Thanks. Just got a call from Kellogg about endorsing Corn Flakes. This is gonna be sweet.

TO JAMAL:
Look, Jamal, if you're going to have drugs in your car, you need a better plan. Next time, put them in a backpack in your trunk. Mix in some clothes that don't fit -- maybe a few toiletries -- and if a police officer happens to find the stash you can play dumb. "I've never seen that before, it must be one of my many friends I recently gave a ride to." Perfect.

TO ALEX:
Why would you pick Peter Gammons for that apology interview? If me or Eli were every caught juicing, we'd go with Rachel Nichols.

TO BEN:
Wow. That's great. You've won two Super Bowls already. But, that's not enough for you Big Ben. You have to go and tell everyone you orchestrated that comeback while nursing cracked ribs. No one likes a show off.